What I'm working on: Overcoming hustle culture without quitting

I planned to write about escaping the hustle - turns out, I’m still deep in it. Here’s how I’m trying to find calm and living with intention again.

This article took a turn...

Hello friend

You might not be surprised to hear this: I love a good spreadsheet. There’s something calming about laying things out, spotting gaps, seeing patterns. Spreadsheets make information come alive for me.

I have a spreadsheet that maps out future content for HUMANS:CONNECTING for the blog, podcast, and social media. Idea happens; idea goes on the spreadsheet.

Simple. Satisfying. Done.

I put the idea for this article on that spreadsheet in late 2024. Back then, I intended it to be a triumphant reflection about how I’d quit the manic hustle and cracked the code for working with purpose, intention, and calm.

Well. I still work with purpose and intention. But the calm? It’s harder to come by lately.

I want to come clean. This isn’t an article where I share wisdom from the other side. It’s a reflection from the middle of the mess.

I can’t stop hustling.

What it looks like

The experience of being me looks remarkably similar to what I shared with you in the article ‘Who has access to me’ where I shared what my day looks like:

• Check Instagram to see how that day’s post is faring

• Check Facebook to see if anyone has left a comment (and delete the hateful ones)

• Check LinkedIn to see if anyone’s commented on that day’s post

• Open email and see if anyone’s seeking a meeting or wanting to explore an opportunity

• Open WhatsApp and check and respond to messages

• Do a little bit of the work that I want to get done that day

• Get distracted

• Repeat 

I’ve been nursing a disc injury that pinches a nerve down my left leg (0/10, don’t recommend). My morning routine has involved less time at the gym, and more short walks. I often start working before the sun rises. I then work through the day, skipping meals, and then work into the evening.

I dream about work. I’m nearly always stressed about money. I’m consumed by LinkedIn-fuelled FOMO.

The impact of hustle culture

Telling me to ‘just relax’ doesn’t help. I can’t relax. Even when I’m watching a movie, I’m thinking about this work and how much there is to do.

Not hustling feeds a narrative that I’m not meeting the high expectations I set for myself. I’m consumed in the spiral of needing to do more. I do more, but the needle doesn’t shift. The unshifting needle must mean that I’m not doing enough and that I need to do more. So, I do more.  

I constantly feel on the verge of saying ‘f*ck it’ and flipping the table. I want to give up and go and do something that doesn’t stress me as much. But I know myself enough that there’s no time when ‘everything will be calmer’ for me. Something always stresses me.

My job could be raking a Zen garden and I’d still be stressed about something.

All this kills connection. I’m so often in my head, planning what’s next, that I miss the only place connection ever lives: the present.

The answer

I know the antidote to hustle culture: it’s the float. (Thank you, Rahaf Harfoush and Hustle and Float).

I need to float.

I need to get creative. To get lost in flow state. Ironically, writing puts me into this state. It slows me down to the speed that I can type…

I need to invest in quality rather than quantity. Quality time. Quality content.

I need to cultivate calm. Working with intention and purpose is never going to be an issue for me. Cultivating calm as I live and work will be.

This looks like rest through the day. I need to prioritise sleep and get moments to float in the day.

I need to play. To do something for the sheer joy of it without an outcome.  

I need to ask for the support of those around me. The team is monitoring the metrics, so I don’t need to obsess about reach and other engagement data. The team is removed from the content creation (which is heart-led from me) and can look at things with a more critical eye.

I need to maintain my boundaries and say no. I get to prioritise my ease first; however that looks on the day. On this, I’m reminded of how others love the idea of me having boundaries but express their disappointment when maintaining my boundaries affects them and their expectations [an idea for future content just made it to the spreadsheet].   

Image: canva.com

I know that deep down, the spiral of eternal hustle is a response to me seeking security; knowing that I am safe and that the people I love are safe, too. My response to challenge and discomfort – especially from the unknown – is to seek control and create certainty.

I know these answers. I’d give them to you if you shared this with me during a mentoring call.

Now I need to put them into practice.  

Hustle and float in equal measure.

Let’s end your loneliness

Are you consumed in the hustle that you struggle to float, too?

Let’s remember our inherent worthiness and find our calm.

Let’s seek moments when we aren’t looking to control an outcome, rather to find joy and purpose in the effort we put into it.

Let’s trust that we’re smart and supported enough to handle things when they happen, not prepare before they do.

The concept of trust is lovely and is easy to do when things are going well. It takes courage to trust when things aren’t going as anticipated.

Let’s practice the float, because the connection we crave lives there, not in the hustle.

Shall we?

A quick ask

If this resonated, share this article with someone who might need to hear it. Sharing the article can be a helpful way to start a conversation and get the meaningful connection you and those with whom you share it need.  

That’s it for this article

Thanks for spending time with these words. We share them to support, challenge, and inspire you as you grow into a more connected, intentional human.

Subscribe to our mailing list if you’d like more of this in your inbox. It’s the only way to reliably stay connected with our work — no algorithms, just a direct line from us to you.

You'll hear from me once a week or whenever we have something meaningful to share. And if you ever choose to unsubscribe, no hard feelings — we’ll still think you’re great.

Until next time, be awesomely you.

~ Phil   

Your Connection Plan helps you get the meaningful connection you need

SUBSCRIBE AND STAY CONNECTED

PRODUCTS TO HELP END YOUR LONELINESS  

Important:

All views expressed above are the author’s and are intended to inform, support, challenge and inspire you to consider the issue of loneliness and increase awareness of the need for authentic connection with your self, with those most important to you and your communities as an antidote to loneliness. Unless otherwise declared, the author is not a licensed mental health professional and these words are not intended to be crisis support. If you’re in crisis, this page has some links for immediate support for where you may be in the world.

If you’re in crisis, please don’t wait. Get support now.