Be a place of welcome: How to foster belonging for deeper human connection
- Phil McAuliffe
- 17 hours ago
- 4 min read
We all crave connection, but we often forget to pause long enough for others to truly reach us.
Learn how to foster belonging, be a place of welcome, and create authentic connections everywhere.
Hello my friend
We’re often approached by people who say ‘I’m not lonely, but I know people who are. How can I help them?’
Happily, we published an article full of ideas about how to show up and support someone you love or lead who you suspect is experiencing loneliness (read it here).
But there was a concept I shared with you in that article that I wanted to highlight and give more space in this article.
This piece explores how to foster belonging in every space where humans interact and offers practical ways to create meaningful connection.
How to foster belonging: Be a place of welcome
The concept of being a place of welcome picks up on something widely attributed to the work of author and psychotherapist Francis Weller, who says
“We spend our lives seeking belonging. At some point, we have to become the place of welcome.”
It speaks to the importance of belonging in feeling connected.
Simply, we feel connected when we feel that we belong. We humans will say and do anything – even contrary to our own interest and wellbeing – to feel that we belong. The concept of belonging is so central to human connection that one of the first articles on the HUMANS:CONNECTING blog was on belonging.
And while this understanding starts in our personal lives, it applies to every space where humans gather, creating opportunities to foster belonging and build authentic relationships everywhere we interact.
Belonging’s magic equation
That article introduced what we call the magic equation for belonging.
The concept is simple: When we feel that we belong, we feel connected. When we humans don’t feel that we belong, we feel lonely.
To feel that we belong, we humans need to feel seen as we are in that moment and we need to feel heard as we are in that moment.
No pretences. No airs or graces. Just us being our authentic selves, as we are, in that moment.
Mathematically speaking, this can be summarised in the following equation:
Heard + Seen = Belonging
Be open to receiving connection
We often search feverishly for connection, rushing from interaction to interaction, in the hope that we feel connected.
Connection requires both giving and receiving connection bids (this short video has an explanation of connection bids from the Gottman Institute). What Weller’s words point to is that while we’re focused on getting connection, we often forget to stay present long enough for others to connect with us and for us to truly connect with them in return.
Being open means allowing others to reach us, noticing their bids, and responding. While we all seek connection, we also need to be a place where others feel meaningfully connected with us. Fostering belonging is about noticing these moments and responding authentically to create meaningful connection.
It’s simple.
It’s brilliant.
Be the safe harbour
Be a place where meaningful connection and belonging happens.
This invites you and me to see and hear someone just as they are in that moment when we are with them (in person or through technology). Not who they once were, or who they may be in the future, but as they are now.
You and I love it when we feel seen and heard. We feel that we belong. When you and I feel lost, adrift and alone, knowing that there’s someone who simply sees and hears us as we are in that moment is like arriving in a safe harbour after days on a stormy ocean.
You want to support someone? Be that safe harbour. Be that place of welcome. Simply see and hear the person who’s trying to connect with you as they are in that moment.
This is one of the most important ways to foster belonging and build authentic relationships in your connections.
Those few moments can give both of you a wonderful connection boost and deepen your human relationship, whether as a romantic partner, friend, family member, or fellow human being.
This concept will serve as a conceptual anchor throughout 2026: you can reference it to remind yourself and others that
creating spaces of welcome and belonging is the foundation for meaningful connection wherever humans interact.
Want another way to support someone in your life or to better understand your connection needs?
Share our website with them. It’s full of our insights, wisdom and expertise. It’s all designed to serve, support, challenge and inspire them to experience the meaningful connection that they need and deserve (and that their loneliness is telling them that they’re not receiving).
Closing invitations
If this article resonated with you:
share it with someone who might need to hear it. Send it directly, share it on your socials, or pass it along your networks;
explore our blog and podcast episodes (listen or watch on YouTube) for more ideas and perspectives on social connection; or
build your connection plan through the Connection Starter Course.
That’s it for this post
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Until next time, be awesomely you.
~ Phil
Important:
All views expressed above are the author’s and are intended to inform, support, challenge and inspire you to consider the issue of loneliness and increase awareness of the need for authentic connection with your self, with those most important to you and your communities as an antidote to loneliness. Unless otherwise declared, the author is not a licensed mental health professional and these words are not intended to be crisis support. If you’re in crisis, this page has some links for immediate support for where you may be in the world.
If you’re in crisis, please don’t wait. Get support now.
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