Values-based leadership & connection for thriving teams: Lessons from an award-winning CEO

Thriving teams often start with leaders who know and live their values.

Discover how living your values and building authentic connections can create thriving, high-performing teams.

Hello my friend

I want to highlight an important message for you from episode 26 of the HUMANS:CONNECTING podcast on values-based leadership and how it helps leaders overcome loneliness in leadership and build thriving teams.

The message, shared by the amazing Rachael Cook, will really support you as you take steps to live a more connected life.

We’d all do well to listen to Rachael when she speaks about leadership values

(see her LinkedIn). Rachael is a multi award-winning CEO of Inclusee, a not-for-profit social prescribing service based in Australia.

If you’re a leader in your workplace – or aspire to be in the future – and you’ve not consumed the episode and soaked up all the wisdom it holds, get onto it ASAP; you’re missing out (listen and watch).

The loneliness of leadership and the power of values-based leadership

Here’s the truth: most leaders experience loneliness in leadership.

Connection in leadership matters. Being meaningfully connected with your authentic self, those most important to you and to your community is key to being a great leader.

Leaders who embrace their values and foster authentic leadership cultivate thriving teams. Socially disconnected leaders – those who are not connected to themselves, to those most important to them or their communities – are poor leaders. They can inadvertently become the leaders we want to avoid: workaholics, micromanagers, indecisive, or bullies.

Here’s another truth: I rarely meet leaders who truly recognise how the quality of their social connections shapes their work and the people they lead. Many still believe they can neatly box up their thoughts and feelings, keeping them separate from their leadership.

That’s simply not true. It doesn’t work that way. Like how we assess our own driving skills, we all think we’re amazing leaders.

We can always learn something else. Even if you think you’re an amazing leader, Rachael’s insights will support you to become an even more amazing leader through values-based leadership.

Rachael’s key message: knowing and living your values is critical

But what are values?

I’m sure you know what values are as a concept. But here’s one definition I found helpful:

“Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work.

They (should) determine your priorities, and, deep down, they're probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to.”

(Source: mindtools.com. Accessed 16 September 2025)

Your values, including your leadership values, are like the signposts to use when we decide or respond to anything in life – at home, at work, in your relationships and in the community.

And your values aren’t simply for the good decisions. Your values help you make those decisions that might be unpopular or disappoint others.

Image: Rachael Cook (provided)

Your values aren’t just for use at work in your leadership capacity, either. They’re yours wherever you are: at work, at home, in the community.

Your values can also evolve over time as we become older, have more life experience or learn more about how the world works around us.

What are your values?

Values sound wonderful, uplifting and inspiring as a concept, but the work comes when we’re asked to get clear on our own individual values.

Have you ever sat down to write out what your values are? Not think about them in passing or ponder them, but write them out.

It’s not an easy task, is it?

The words that describe values all sound great, don’t they? There are words like ‘Loyalty’, ‘Creativity’, ‘Integrity’ and other words that inspire and uplift.

But what are your values? What reflects who you are and makes you proud?

If you’ve not worked out your values, I found two helpful lists on the internet with some words that may help you (from Dr Brené Brown and from James Clear).

Trying on your values

When considering your values, try them on like you would an expensive suit or coat.

Wear them around. Take them for a test drive. Do the equivalent of what every parent does when a child tries on a pair of shoes: press down on the toes to see if there’s room to grow.

How does the word – the value – make you feel? Does it fit? Or are you cramming yourself into the value because you think it’s cool? The value needs to feel right for you.

Ask yourself: is this truly a value, or is it a goal?

A value is who you are. A goal is what you’re striving toward.

‘Honesty’ is a great example of this.

We all love honesty in our lives, but can you be honest in all your interactions with the world, even when no one else sees or knows? Do you want people to be honest with you in all situations? Do you risk people being offended or upset by sharing your perception of honesty?

If you find yourself resolving to try to be honest in every situation, you may have landed at honesty as a goal, not a value.

Values are not goals. Goals are not values.

Finding your values

While lists on the internet can be a helpful way to help you find your values, nothing beats paying attention to yourself.

This is a point that Rachael and I discuss in the conversation on the pod.

To find your values, you need to be aware – mindfully aware – of what triggers an emotional response in you.

I’m aware that saying ‘pay attention to your emotional triggers’ can sound like ‘Pay attention to what makes you angry’. Remember: an emotional trigger elicits emotion and the emotion(s) you feel may be a good one just as it may be a ‘bad’ one. An emotion is an emotion.

You’re going to simply notice how you feel in response to a thought you have, or something someone said to you, or something you witness as you go through your day.

Once you’ve noticed the emotion, take a quick moment to write down how you’re feeling emotionally and physically, and what you’re thinking. Don’t judge it. Stay curious and write it down. Writing it down is critical — don’t just think about it, put it on paper.

Commit to doing this for a week and you’ll get an idea of what triggers you.

Then the next part is to make sense of the raw data you’ve collected. For this, we need to summon the inner inquisitive four-year-old within and ask ‘why’ for every answer we give ourselves.

Something like:

That person jumped the queue! I’m so mad.

Why am I so mad?

It’s not fair. I’ve been waiting in line for 10 minutes.

Why is it not fair?

Everyone else and I have been in line and are waiting our turn.

Why did I get in the line?

It’s what I do.

Why?

Um. It keeps order and everyone gets served.

Why is it important to me that order is maintained and everyone gets served?

It helps the community function.

Ah, there it is, there’s the possible value: ‘community’. Another could be ‘citizenship’.

From this point, you could test your value out and turn that negative into a positive.

Consider where and when in your life have you felt good about being part of a community? When have you felt inspired by being a good citizen?

If you feel like – not think – this value is calling you forward, then add it to the list.

This way, we get to dig into how a trigger can speak to something that we hold true about ourselves. In other words, a value.

Values, loneliness and authentic connection

I hear you: this is all well and good, but what do values have to do with loneliness and authentic connection as a human (whether you’re a leader or not)?

Image: canva.com

In short: everything. Values sit at the heart of authentic leadership and meaningful connection.

Knowing, and then living, your values is the surest way to build a rock-solid foundation for each of the three pillars of connection: connection to self, connection to those most important to you and connection to community.

If you live your values, your actions begin to align with your intentions — and your intentions align with what matters most to you.

Connection that stems from that place within you is going to be real, genuine and authentic.

Furthermore, your values guide you when making all kinds of decisions, even when a decision is likely to be unpopular or go against what others think you should do.

Finally, while your values provide you that solid foundation, they can grow and change as we grow, learn and change.

Living your values

Once you know your values, you then need to live them. Holding yourself to account to see if your words, thoughts and actions aligned with your values is a powerful thing to do daily.

In the podcast, Rachael shared that she does this when she sits on her balcony and reflects on her day while watching the Brisbane River before her. She shared that if something is troubling her about an interaction in her day, her values offer a framework for her to review the interaction and then consider a way to resolve any tension. That could be in the form of an apology or invite another conversation with more space and time to really be present.

This is an outstanding example.

For me, I reflect on how I acted – or not – that day according to each of my values of connection, courage, collaboration, curiosity, challenging, commitment and caring when I journal.

I also have these values framed and in a prominent place in the house. I often find that my eye naturally gravitates to them when I need to make a decision and am unsure about how I will respond.

Let’s get curious!

For the next week, pay attention to what triggers you emotionally and write it down. Don’t judge it, just write it down.

At the end of the week, go through the five questions exercise and write down your answers.

Be honest and avoid answering in ways that you feel you should answer. That’s not being yourself.

“To find your values, pay attention to what triggers an emotional response in you — not to judge, but to stay curious.”

How many values do you have? Could you learn something from Dr Brené Brown’s exercise and refine it to two core values?

For reference, my two core values – those that stand above all else – are connection and courage.

Need help identifying your values?

Our Connection Starter Course at HUMANS:CONNECTING helps you clarify your values, strengthen authentic connections, and put them into action in daily life.

Your journey to a more connected, intentional life starts here.

Share this article

If this article resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it. Send it directly, post it on your socials, or pass it along in your networks.

It’s a simple way that we can work together to shift the wider conversation about loneliness, leadership and our need for meaningful connection.

Creating Connected Workplaces

At HUMANS:CONNECTING, we know authentic connection is key to thriving teams. Our Creating Connected Workplaces program, developed and delivered with our partners at  Annecy Behavioral Science Lab (ABSL), helps organisations strengthen team connection and build a culture where people feel valued and supported.

Learn more here.

That’s where we’ll leave it for now

We write to serve, support, challenge and inspire you as you grow into a more connected, intentional human.

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Until next time, be awesomely you.

~ Phil   

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Important:

All views expressed above are the author’s and are intended to inform, support, challenge and inspire you to consider the issue of loneliness and increase awareness of the need for authentic connection with your self, with those most important to you and your communities as an antidote to loneliness. Unless otherwise declared, the author is not a licensed mental health professional and these words are not intended to be crisis support. If you’re in crisis, this page has some links for immediate support for where you may be in the world.

If you’re in crisis, please don’t wait. Get support now.